In the trial, I ask God “Why?
Are You so silent while I cry
You see I’m shaky to the core
And certain that I can’t take more.”
“I know that what I want is good
I know You can – if You just would
I know You see my heart’s desire
And that I’m scared and that I’m tired. “
As I pray here on my knees
For the thousandth time I state my need
You are God and You did say
That help will come to those that wait.
You told us Lord, to not forget
Your benefits and all Your good
They satisfy and save our lives
They turn our darkness into light.
But here I sit in quiet dread
That this may not be over yet
I cannot conjure up the faith
To face this thing, for one more day.
So now it’s only up to You
To lift me up and make me new
For all my human strength is gone
My faith is weary; But You are strong.
O fill me with Your Holy Spirit
That I might rise renewed and fearless
I bind the lies that Satan whispers
That say “Give up, drown in this river”
I bind depression, dismay, and fear
I loose the truth that my God cares
I loose new faith, joy, and peace
His mighty victory, I now release!
Your ways are higher than I can know
Human values are not Your goal
You push me on to bigger faith
You use the trial to change my ways.
You want surrender, You want my trust
That You are God and I am not
So I will bloom here in the dark
Knowing Your plans will change my heart.
O Lord I lift Your name up high
O be my strength and fix my eyes
Only on You so I might stand
And hear the words, “My child, well done!”
Rhonda Shelford Jansen