Verbal, emotional, intellectual, and physical abuse destroys lives.  It is prevalent in the church almost as much as in the world. This is a poem that looks at one small part of abuse and its devastating effects.  It does not seek to advise whether or not a person should remain in an abusive relationship as that is an individual decision. Do not stay in a relationship if you are in physical danger.


The words, they sting… c
ut deep like knives
They weigh me down, I grope for life
In shrouds of pain, Lost… yet I fight.
I said please stop, don’t you see the damage
But plea’s were lost on a heart like granite.

Who am I now, w
hat was my calling
Do I have worth or am I dying?
Did my God have good plans for me
Something different, something free?
Will this cycle continue for generations
A legacy of abuse is what I’m living.

As tears fall down in pools of grief
I seek you God for wisdom and faith.
Please send direction; a needed word  
                                                  A way to walk that isn’t blurred.                                                                    For hope from You is what I need
A brand new purpose; a brand new creed.

An answer came so gently and sweet:
No other idol shall be before Me.
Confusion wracked my weary mind
With doubting words to God I cried
What idol have I before you O God?
He said, The abuse that has broken your heart.

Abuse has told you who you are
It bound you in lies and played My part.
It wrapped you in fear and made your heart faint
It seeks to destroy you and fill you with hate.
But your name is precious, lovely, and honored
Your value is priceless… Know that I love you.

With abuse on your throne, destruction will reign
When I’m on your throne, true healing you’ll gain.
Abuse will entomb you and keep you in chains                                             I But I’ll set you free to walk upon shame.                                                         Take your eyes off abuse and the lies that it speaks
And fix them on Me, your Author and King.

When words of hurt fill up your ears
Hear them not my child, instead speak My Words.
They’re a Shield and a Sword,  a Rock of Pure Truth
They will teach you the way, they will show you your worth.
Unleashing pure beauty for the whole world to see
Place your hope and your eyes only on Me.

Rhonda Shelford Jansen 



Its a strange notion to think of abuse suffered, as idolatry.  The fact is, abuse does become an idol because it becomes the ruler of our lives.  It takes us out of the game plan that God has for us, tells us lies about who we are, and keeps us from growing in character.  It usually hinders our confidence, gifts, and talents and it causes us to isolate and have fewer relationships that God could use for good purpose.  When God is on the throne of our hearts,  we should be always growing and prospering in character.  Our talents should be used to their fullest and we will readily serve others in need.  If a person chooses to stay in an abusive relationship it is of utmost importance to not allow oneself to be completely controlled by another human, for only God has the right to direct our path.  And God’s path will always be different from the one demanded by an abuser.  Don’t be afraid to step out of the cycle; for it takes two willing people for abuse to really destroy.   Take God’s path, pray for wisdom and courage, be in the bible, and be on guard against the devastation that comes from living in an abusive relationship.  God loves to take beauty from ashes and you can become a  better person because of what you’ve gone through and you’ll have greater compassion for others that are hurting.  Blessings to you…and may God guard you and keep you and may He use you mightily for His glory!